Warning : Marrying a Filipina could be bad to your sanity

“Attention Foreigners : Marrying a Filipina could be hazardous to your sanity unless….“       by EQ

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If you think eating Balut is a mission, wait until you marry a Filipina.

If you believe that Love conquers all, wait until you marry a Filipina.

Well, Love is all that matters, wait until you marry a Filipina unless…

Unless number 1 : You are okay with 2 become 1 and 1 becomes a Clan

Filipinos pride themselves of their strong family ties. Don’t get me wrong, this is a very good trait but sometimes disturbing and much worse, destructing.

Should you decide to live in the Philippines after your wedding, I suggest don’t plan anything for yourselves on weekends without checking with your wife as this could be the Birthday of Mommy, sister, niece, Dad, Brother’s Nanny or the grand grand son of her grand grand grandma. Birthdays, Christening, 10^th year Death Anniversary, wedding, reunion all of the above not to mention Christmas and New Year are just the usual weekends for Filipino families.

You decided not to attend instead, think again as you just declared World War 3. Avoiding above is like showing that you dislike the family.

Wondering what’s taking her that long to shop ? Because she haven’t finish buying gifts for all the Birthday Celebrants for the month yet and also for Christmas that’s coming in 6 months time.

Unless number 2 : You can sing or love to sing

Filipinos in general loves to sing and they are very good singers. Singing comes hand in hand with party, feast and celebration. Did I mention that they know how to party and have fun as well ? And despite of their small built, they eat like a horse.

Below is an article why Filipinos are very good singers.

https://nosebleeds2.blogspot.co.nz/2017/10/why-are-filipinos-are-good-singers.html

If you hate parties, hate singing and hate the noise, you might as well bail out now  before it’s too late.

Should you decide to ask her to live overseas with you and run away from all of these craziness ?  There are unless(es) waiting for you in your far far away land :

Unless number 3 : You are willing to give up your garage for her

Filipina(s) loves shoes, bags and clothes… not unusual for ladies you will say. Wrong !  Filipina(s) are hoarders of some sort as they feel bad throwing their old old stuff  away as long as they are still usable.

The shoes and bag and clothes will accumulate and before you knew it, she already invaded your man cave “the garage”.

Why keep them you might ask.

·       Sentimental value as it’s your gift to her on your 1^st year wedding anniversary which was way back 10 years ago.

·       Too expensive to throw away

·       No longer in fashion, she’ll wait for that fashion to come back

·       Will put them on her  Balikbayan box for the family

Talking about Balikbayan boxes, these boxes will also take up space on you garage as she has at least 3 boxes getting filled up all at the same time and when they are gone and shipped, she will get another 3 empty  boxes for the next container shipment to the Philippines.

By the way, she will also ask you to tape the boxes ( so it won’t break loose ) that weigh like a ton.

Unless number 4 : Mellow Dramatic

Overseas life most times is boring especially if she’s a stay home wife. One way of getting rid of boredom is watching Telenovelas. The Filipino Channel ( TFC ) is the way to go.

When you get home and find her crying her heart out, don’t worry it’s not your foul smell, it’s just a scene on the telenovela drama she is watching.  Get used to it as Filipinas could suddenly burst into tears then switch to laughter like a loony.

No worries, you will get used to it after a year or so.

Unless number 5 : You are okay with your house having fishy smell

And because you take her away overseas from her family, surely every now and then your wife will miss the Pritong Isda ( fried fish ) that mom use to cook at home. To make the story short, she will end up going to the fish market, grab a snapper ( or any fish that can be fried ), go home and fry it.

You will enjoy looking at her very delighted with her fish, not the smell that will stay on the house for days.

My suggestion is, if she loves to fry fish ( especially the dried ones ), go build her a dirty kitchen outside the house and let the neighbours suffer with the fishy smell. By the way, they normally match Fried fish with Bagoong ( poor man’s anchovies which also have its own distinct smell ) and tomato.  

These combinations will surely make your day.

But not all are bad as the next UNLESSes are what you want to hear :

Unless number 6 : Marrying a girl with a view

When buying a house you always consider the buying the one with a view. This is exactly the same when you marry a Filipina, you will wake up in the morning with a beautiful face in front of you. The same beautiful face you will see each morning when you wake up.

Just don’t kiss her if she had the fried fish and bagoong the night before.

Filipinas are considered as one of the most beautiful women in the world for year and years. Filipinas as are always winning prestigious international pageants not only because of their outstanding beauty, but also because of their wit.

Unless number 7 : There’s no forever

Filipino culture when they decide to tie the knot, they are in for the long haul.

There’s a Filipino saying “Ang pag aasawa ay hindi parang kaning mainit na iluluwa pag sinubo.” – don’t ask me to translate this, sorry but I won’t be bother, too deep. Just ask your fiancee.

Filipina will take care and love you forever unless you hurt her or unless there’s no forever. When they say “I do”, they mean it and they know what entails their “I Do”, - her lifetime commitment.

The Philippines is predominantly a Christian nation and marriage is sacred. In the old days, it’s like a curse if you are married but separated. Some couples keep the marriage intact ‘tho sometimes they have already fallen out of love.

If you believe in FOREVER, then marry a Filipina.

Article : Am i really married to a Filipina ?

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